Broken NewzWhen the news needs a break, it comes here!http://www.brokennewz.comCopyright 2004 Broken Newzen-useditor@BrokenNewz.comhttp://www.brokennewz.com/images/button.gifBroken Newzhttp://www.BrokenNewz.comNY Philharmonic Realizes It Played "Crush The Yankee Imperialist Then Eat Their Tasty Dogs" To North Korean HostsThe New York Philharmonic revealed a "major blunder" yesterday, when the esteemed orchestra admitted it played "Crush The Yankee Imperialist Then Eat Their Tasty Dogs" during a concert in North Korea last week. http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_2008harmonic Idaho's Four Gay Residents Voice Support For Sen. Larry CraigThe "entire" gay population of Idaho, four strong, announced "unequivocal" support for embattled Sen. Larry Craig yesterday, saying they'll "stick with him through it all." http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_1511craig Leona Helmsley's Dog Indicted for Betting on FootballTrouble, the dog of Leona Helmsley, has been arrest for illegal football betting. http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_1510helmsleydog Barry Bonds Home Run Record Gives Regrets to SteroidsSure, he's on the cusp of breaking Hank Aaron's home run record. But the guilt has to be getting to Barry Bonds. Perhaps Bud Selig can show him what a wonderful game it is - doped up or not! http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_2000bonds Tammy Faye Now 3.5 Pound PurseCHARLOTTE, N.C. - Former televangelist Tammy Faye (Bakker) Messner announced that she has stopped treating her cancer and that her weight has dropped to 3.5 lbs. http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_1509tammypurse President Bush Plans to Spend All His New Money Probing Gasoline PricesPresident George W. Bush spoke at a press conference yesterday, taking time to discuss the recent rise of U.S. gas prices. http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_1508bushgasous Regular-Hair Hos, Other Hos Yearn For Publicity In Wake Of Imus Controversy The nation's "regular, run-of-the-mill-hair hos" are "stomping mad" that their kindred spirits, the nappy-headed hos, have received all the publicity in the wake of Don Imus's comments, sources said yesterday. http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_1507imushos Man Eats At Taco Bell, Loses Carbon Neutral StatusA man lost his much-coveted "carbon neutral" designation Sunday, eating a Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito, a Carne Asada Steak Taquito, and a Mexican Pizza. Sources said the man appeared "distraught" and also "somewhat gassy and bloated." http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_1506carbonneut Report: Hollywood Male Sexual Energy Directed At Al Gore Depleting Ozone LayerEnvironmental experts and sexual therapists warned Thursday that "raw sexual energy" toward Al Gore by "male Hollywood loons and moonbats" depletes the ozone and "melts glaciers," sources said today. http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_1505sexualgore Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's Torso With Head Admits CrimesTerrorist mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed made his first public appearance yesterday since admitting his role in numerous terrorist attacks, lacking "arms and legs," sources said. http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_1504khalidtorso