Washington D.C.-After recently equating "sodomy," with bigamy, polygamy, and incest in an interview, Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum is attempting to mend bridges with the Gay community, perhaps by singing with Elton John at the next Grammies. While it has been pointed out that the Senator doesn't have a singing career and therefore is unlikely to be nominated for a Grammy, the Senator was sanguine.

"If the Grammies are anything like passing legislation, a few greased palms will do the trick," said Santorum. The Senator quickly pointed out that corrupt politics and fixing award shows was the only moral justification for greasing palms, or any other part of the body.

Santorum's agent has been contacting John's people to duet on the John Ashcroft composition "Let The Eagle Soar." He is also lobbying to have the Grammies, not scheduled until next year, to occur this month.

However, that is not the only public relations effort Santorum is engaged in. He is about to release his movie-acting debut, "Straight Mile" wherein he plays a struggling young Senator who excels in debates, but suffers from stage fright. In a small but telling scene in the film, Santorum defends a homosexual coworker, saying, "I have no problem with him being a homosexual, as long as he doesn't engage in homosexual behavior. Or lust in his heart, because that's a sin, too. Unfortunately, there isn't yet legislation in Texas making it illegal to lust in the heart, but just because I defend the right of Texas to lock up Ron here for getting laid doesn't mean I have anything against him.

I mean, he could repress his unnatural thoughts, perhaps by going to church every day, and self flagellating at night, yo."

Of course, the statement Santorum made regarding incest and bigamy makes sense, if you actually believe in the right of privacy. If privacy is truly respected in this country, any sexual act that involves consenting adults should be protected, which is abhorrent to the straight-laced fundamentalist. He isn't against homosexuality; he's for policing anything you might want to do with your genitals.

Some have called for Santorum to step down from his third ranking Republican position, ala Trent Lott after the Strom Thurmond. The consistency of his position, and the fact that only two very confused homosexuals have ever voted for the Senator, seems to have protected him from such a fate. After all, his viewpoint is merely that of any religious bigot who has no respect for the separation of Church and State, and since they've already taken over the government, why should this one Senator suffer?

Sir Elton John was not available for comment.