Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum defended the controversial comments he made about homosexuality this week, telling another AP reporter this morning that "I wasn't saying that homosexuality was bad, no, not in the least. I was saying that polygamy, bigamy, adultery and incest were all acceptable behaviors. I was trying to say that the Supreme Court should indeed make polygamy and incest legal, bigamy too, and that we should, you know, grow up about adultery. That's what I was saying, ok? Senator Rick Santorum is a friend to all kinds of sexual deviants and perverts -- not just queers -- all across this great country and not just in my own state. I'd like to make that clear. So maybe now that I've set the record straight, all of this brouhaha will die down."

Political analysts and pundits were not surprised by Santorum's explanation. Chris Matthews, host of television's "Hardball," said that contrary to the received wisdom, Pennsylvania is actually the state containing the highest percentage of bigamists and polygamists. "A lot of people think that Utah has the greatest number of Mormons, but actually it's Pennsylvania. And those people have lots of kids, not to mention wives, and Santorum wants those future votes." Bob Stuckinacubicle, low-level manager at the US Census Bureau, confirmed Matthews' comments and added that "Pennsylvania also has sky-high adultery and incest rates. We had some questions about that on our last questionnaire." Santorum, however, insists his comments were not inspired by a desire for votes. "I just think Americans should have the right to take as many wives as they like, sleep with their friends' wives and sleep with their children, parents, siblings, what have you. It's not for me to judge. So I wish everyone would stop fussing about what I said and see just how compassionate a conservative I really am."