Silicon Valley - In a recent consumer satisfaction poll, Gateway users seemed less concerned with the performance of their PCs and more concerned with the appearance of Gateway's CEO. Ted Waitt, founder of the successful PC manufacturer, has recently been seen muttering in his company's promotions sitting next to a cow. "It is bad enough he has the Television presence of a stick of lumber, but what is up with that ponytail?" asks PC dealer Gavin Dean.

Gateway has recognized the consumer's demand and has already begun taking steps to address it. A group of hair consultants have been assigned the task of bringing Waitt into the 21st century. "This will not be easy." said Stantin Smalls, head consultant, "We do not have much to work with." Preliminary tests look good. Gateway has begun beta testing a swoop that could be released by this summer. Along with the release, Gateway will launch a new advertising campaign called "Dude, you're gettin' a hair cut!"