Rochester, Minnesota - Since the controversial cryonic freezing of the late baseball legend Ted Williams, the Mayo Clinic's Center for Sports Pathology has been swamped with requests by current sports legends to participate in its athletic post-mortem freeze-dryin program.

Although Dr. Luther P. Bjornstrom, director of the center, was unable to provide any details of the sports personalities involved due to medical confidentiality laws, this reporter has learned that Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, John Rocker, Martina Navratilova, Michael Jordan and O.J. Simpson are among the sports luminaries that have already signed contracts with the center.

"It's a brave new world we're entering," said Dr. Bjornstrom. "With cryonic freezing, it's possible that in the future cures might be discovered and we would be able to revive and treat the athletes who have been frozen. Of course, cloning is another possibility. Imagine the Red Sox with a batting roster leading off with Ted Williams, followed by Ted Williams and Ted Williams, and then Ted Williams batting cleanup. Maybe modern science is the only way to lift the Bambino's curse once and for all. Then, there's selective breeding. How about mixing the DNA of Rosey Grier with Mary Lou Retton's. You'd get a 350 lb tackle who could do the 440 in backflips in 4.2 seconds. The possibilities are endless."

Lawyers and sports agents, however, are worried about unforeseen legal complications if cloned athletes become common. For example, would a cloned Ted Williams be subject to baseball's reserve clause? Or would a cloned O.J. Simpson be liable for damages in the wrongful death lawsuits won by the families of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman? Even more complicated is whether or not cloned NBA players would be liable for child support for illegitimate children fathered by their other clones.

For his part, President Bush has requested that scientists adopt a go-slow approach and only clone utility outfielders and special teams players until medical, legal and religious experts have had an opportunity to study the problem thoroughly.