I am sorry to disappoint all my WWDN readers, but it seems I have not been cast to play myself in the movie version of my new book.

Upset?....sure.

I received the call from the director's secretary's niece's friend who heard about it in a conversation between two of the studio lot workers. Apparently the director was too busy to let me know personally. I totally understand. I was told that I did not make them believe I was Wil. I think they were going for more of a Corey Feldman type character. This is fine, since he has some time off from the video store right now.

As I drove home from mowing Patrick Stewart’s lawn, I took to heart some words of wisdom he said to me earlier in the day.

"Don't leave the shed door open this time Phil!"

I know what he was trying to tell me. It came to me as I was weeping in my Nissan. He was telling me to be less open to the world. Do not be so free to offer every segment of my life to my readers. The best stories are the ones left untold. Like when I posted the story about wetting the bed until season three of ST:TNG, or how I often fantasize that I am Jim Varney’s replacement in the Earnest movies. Perhaps this is information I should keep to myself? This is something I need to think about. Maybe now is a good time since I have to go poop. Was that too much information? Was that what he was talking about? Wow, the poop is really coming. I have to go.

I know you all know that I know that this war is about the oil. Oil is dirty and leaves stains on my garage floor. I hate oil. That is why I hate this war. Bush likes oil so I hate him. War and Bush and Oil are bad. I got a new hard drive today.