Parody News
 

Reporters Running Out of People to Talk to About Ronald Reagan
6/10/2004 - Marni Malarkey
  Digg!

Reporters covering the ongoing funeral of former President Ronald Reagan are concerned that if the proceedings go on much longer they will run out of people to interview, according to, among others, CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer.

"I've interviewed Paul Wolfowitz four times in the last seventeen hours, Ed Meese eight times in the last 29 hours and Alexander Haig 13 times in the last four days," said Blitzer from his home in Washington.

Hardball's Chris Matthews concurred: "Frankly, if I never have to talk to Pat Buchanan or David Dreier again, it will be too soon. How many times do I have to hear the same stories? We're running out of people who knew Reagan."

MSNBC'S Keith Olbermann, host of Countdown, speculated that if the funeral related events are not over soon, "I will have to start talking to high school kids who are the children of someone who knew someone who bumped into someone who may have lived in California when Reagan was governor." Compounding the anxieties expressed by Blitzer, Olbermann and Matthews is the rumour that Reagan's funeral will make a two week "overseas tour," with stops in London, Moscow and Rome, accompanied by 24 hour coverage.

 

Related Stories