"Shit, man, I was mad pimpin' back in the day," said Mr. Al-Takriti, who was drinking an aromatic potable called "yak," or alternatively "vas," which was assumed to be a local beverage. "I mean, think about it, my job was to look like Saddam. Period. End of story. Not only was that shit easy to do, 'cuz I do look like Saddam, but it left a lot of time open in the day for me to, you know, actually be Saddam. I can't be a Saddam body double by day, and a kebob salesman by night, know what I'm sayin'? Shit, it's bad enough I look like his ugly ass, how could I not act on it?"

Sayeed explained that he had no choice but to became Saddam's body double. "Well, basically, my neighborhood in Tikrit is tight knit, and Saddam's daddy is probably my daddy, so I grew up looking like him, like a bunch of boys in my 'hood did, if you know what I'm saying. Anyway, one day this dude comes up to me and says I gotta work for Saddam or he's gonna kill my family. Basically, they said I had to work one hour a day at some photo-op, or show up at a mosque, or ride in a decoy car, and I get the rest of the time to myself. Live like a dictator, but not have to worry about international politics, Shiites, Kurds, or George Bush-shit, who wouldn't want that?"

Sayeed remained unapologetic about his time as Saddam's body double, and, in fact, openly lamented the fact that he can no longer use his position to get laid. Upon encountering a woman to whom he was sexually attracted, Sayeed explained that his modus operandi was to barge into her house late at night accompanied by an entourage. "Imagine," he explained, "Saddam fucking Hussein comes into your house, tells the father that he needs his daughter immediately for the propagation of the line or some shit like that, has his way with her, and then leaves. It couldn't be any easier. What are they gonna do, call the police? As far as they knew, I'm the fucking dictator of that country. And Stockholm-syndrome sex is the shit, man---'I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you'-god I miss that shit."

Sayeed claims that he was still able to parlay his looks into sex until just before Saddam's capture, even stating that the deaths of Uday and Qusay Hussein increased his encounters. "After Uday and Qusay died, I'd basically run into someone's place and say, 'Quick, the Americans are right behind me and I have no heir left-give me your daughter right now!' I could do that three, four times a day. And it wasn't like I had to time my assaults around Saddam's schedule like I did back in the day."