Paris - John F. “Frenchy” Kerry, Democrat presidential candidate, moments ago issued a firm denial of recent accusations in the London Sun newspaper that he and soccer star David Beckham had been having a love affair for the last three years.

“These scurrilous rumors are completely false and I deny them categorically,” reads the statement issued by the Kerry campaign. “I have not at any time been involved romantically with soccer star David Beckham. As many of you know, Mr. Beckham is the star player of the Madrid Real soccer team and recently signed a multi-year contract for $100 million. The American people are just and fair, and they realize that I would never sleep with anyone who makes so little money.”