Senator John Kerry, three weeks after announcing his
wish to send a fact-finding team to Iraq, has
announced plans to send a fact-finding team to
"working class America."
Kerry, who said he wanted to
send a team to Iraq "in order to better understand and
judge the situation in a foreign land I know nothing
of," says "it's basically the same deal with working
class America.
Frankly, I know nothing of it! I mean,
what do these people wear? What do they eat? Do they
even speak the same language as me?"
The Massachusetts Democrat says he is sending several
aides to working class America, rather than go himself
"because I really don't want to spend time with those
people. Would you? Hell, it's killing me having to go
out and shake hands with people in the local
TJAppleby's of whatever the hell town I'm campaigning
in. Imagine if I had to go meet people in their crappy
little homes, and, you know, pretend to enjoy eating
the Hamburger Helper or whatever other garbage the
unemployed missus had come up with for dinner."
Kerry
added that his wife, Teresa, hoped his fact-finding
team would come back from working class America with
"videos, reports, audiotaped interviews, local
newspapers, everything they can get their hands on so
that I can learn about these people without actually
having to touch them. Teresa says if I touch them, I
can't touch her."
