Paris - Speaking at the annual meeting of the Societe du Hauteur et Snobbishness Gallique, French President Jacques Chirac said yesterday that Haiti is a prime example of French cultural superiority.
“Ze Western Hemisphere ees so horrible, but thank goodness zat Haiti remains an oasis of cultural refinement and political stability,” said M. Chirac. “And look at ze wonderful benefits that French culture has given to Haiti. An average life expectancy of 28, a gross domestic product of $1.32, and an advanced health care system that has produced the least overweight population in ze world outside of Zimbabwe. Ze Americans cannot even begin to compare with Haiti.”
In related news, Haitian opposition leader Jean-Louis Weedwhacquere of the Alliance Contre Rationalisme, said at a press conference today that if his party is victorious in the next election he will outlaw the use of electricity, which he claims is a symbol of Anglo-Saxon oppression and cultural chauvinism.
