Moose Falls, Vermont — Former Democrat presidential front runner and left-wing firebrand Howard Dean is resting comfortably now that he is back on medication, according to sources at the Green Mountain Old Socialists Home in this quaint northern Vermont community just two miles south of the Canadian border.
“When Howard started screaming during his stump speeches and slurring his words we knew it was time to get him hooked up again to a Prozac drip,” said one family friend who wishes to remain anonymous. “Now that Howard is more doped up than Woody Harrelson at a Snoop Doggy Dogg concert he won’t be doing any more harm to himself or raising anyone else’s taxes.”
In related news, Thelma Schneider, a registered nurse employed at the Green Mountain Old Socialists Home, today filed a personal injury lawsuit in Federal court against Mr. Dean, alleging that the former candidate but her earlobe off when she attempted to give him a sponge bath.
