After a disappointing Super Tuesday showing, Senator John Edwards had decided to drop out of the Democratic race.
Edwards was hoping a win in key states like Ohio and Georgia would sustain his campaign another week when several southern states will hold primaries. But he lost big in Ohio, one of his must-win states. “It is time to admit I am the bottom of the bottom of all the bottom of the barrel, except Sharpton I guess” Said Edwards.
Senator Edwards now plans to return to his cryogenic chamber which he has be residing for the last 17 years. “It is a good place for me to have alone time and think.”
Edwards plans on dethawing near 2046. “I feel by then the only Clinton I need to worry about is Chelsea, and who is going to vote for a dysfunctional, bitter, ugly lesbian for President? Should be a cake walk to the Oval Office.”
Edwards will begin his freezing process this Friday. His tube is currently stored at the Dick Clark Cooler for Celebrities and the Really, Really Rich.
“With Sex and the City off the air, there is nothing left for me here.”
