In a bombshell announcement today, Senator John Kerry
admitted on ABC's "Good Morning America" that he is
part Sharpei. "It's something I didn't feel was
anybody's business," Kerry told Diane Sawyer. "But I
understand the American people want the whole picture,
they want to know all about John Kerry, and this is an important piece of information."
Kerry also intimated that several investigative reporters were looking into his background and that he feared the information would get out "the wrong way." "My children know, my wife knows, my close friends know and we all agreed it was nothing to be ashamed of." The announcement follows closely on the heels of Senator Joe Lieberman's admission of his Muppet heritage, but Kerry feels his campaign won't suffer as a result, as Lieberman's had.
"Look," he said testily to Sawyer. "How can being a Muppet win you any votes? You'll just irritate everyone with your constant singing and smiling. But being part Sharpei is different. First of all, it means I'm very clean. And regal, alert and dignified. It also means that while I appear standoffish and snobbish at times, I'm actually very devoted to those I care about."
Kerry added that his Sharpei traits would help his foreign policy. "The French love dogs, everybody knows. They let them in restaurants. And the Chinese will love me, absolutely love me. My Sharpei heritage will help America win back the love and respect of the world."
