New York — Aging CBS news anchor Dan Rather today lashed out at media critics who say that network news programs have become nothing but shills for the products sold by their parent companies.
“That dog won’t hunt,” said Rather speaking before a luncheon sponsored by the Association of Television News Reporters. The luncheon was served by waiters and waitresses dressed as characters from Matrix:Revolutions, a film co-produced by Warner Brothers, a division of AOLTimeWarner, the parent company of ABC. “Network news has always concentrated on, and continues to concentrate on ‘hard news.’ It’s just that people are sick and tired of all that sensationalistic fluff, like reports on African famines, suicide bombers and 9/11. Puh-leeze, 9/11? I think that’s been done to death. No, people are much more sophisticated today than in previous generations. They realize now that Edward R. Murrow reporting live during the Battle of Britain was just a ratings stunt. What today’s media-savvy news consumers want are hard-hitting, in-depth reports on vital topics, like Britney Spears revealing that she used to run around the house naked when she was 13, or behind-the-scenes looks at sitcoms that follow the evening news, or interviews with recording artists whose cds are released from the parent company of the network.”
Rather became irate when asked why his evening news broadcast didn’t make any mention of the War in Iraq until July of 2003 and instead ran a 35-part feature on “How to Perform a Breast Self-Examination.” “I can’t even believe that you’re asking me this question. Here we gave the American people vital news about an important health topic and you’re upset. My god, do you realize how much money and time it took to get all of the female recording artists for CBS records who have new releases coming out to shoot softly-lit videos where they examine their breasts for possible cancerous lumps? If all you want are reports about politics, the economy, and foreign affairs, I suppose the Drudge Report and Fox News will suffice, but if you want hard news, i.e., news that has been fully focused-grouped and has tie-ins to marketable products, your only choices are CBS, NBC and ABC.”
