Hollywood - The RIAA has filed lawsuits against 24 individuals for illegally downloading files of RIAA member and spoken word artist Osama bin Laden according to documents obtained by Broken Newz. The lawsuits ask for compensatory and punitive damages in the amount of $150,000 for each illegal download.
"While we understand that Mr. Bin Laden is a controversial artist," said Prunella Witherspoon, chief counsel for the RIAA, "Nevertheless, copyright protection pertains to ALL creative artists. Mr. Bin Laden's taped messages to his followers definitely fall within the purview of the 1979 Copyright Act and we in the RIAA mean to protect his legal rights."
Although most of the individuals being sued by the RIAA refused to speak about their cases, Melody Smith, a fifth grader at Horace Mann Elementary School in Teaneck, New Jersey agreed to go on the record. "Geesh, I don't know why they're doing this," said Ms. Smith. "Like, I just downloaded the file because Suzy Patterson and me had to do this report on terrorism for social studies."
Ms. Smith, who admitted that her weekly allowance is five dollars, says she will be hard pressed to pay the fine if the court awards the entire $150,000 sum to Mr. Bin Laden and the RIAA. "It's, like, just so not fair," Ms. Smith continued. "So much for being on the honor roll."
In related news, Herbert Hitler of Linz, Austria, great-grandnephew of the late controversial German spoken word artist Adolf Hitler, announced today that he and the RIAA are suing 46 randomly selected individuals for illegally downloading files of his great-uncle's live and studio performances.
