In a move that received considerably less publicity
than President George Bush's Thanksgiving Day visit to
Baghdad, Osama Bin Laden made a surprise visit to a
terrorist training camp in Pakistan last week to
celebrate the Muslim holiday of Eid-ul-Fitr.
Bin
Laden, in hiding from US forces, took a top-secret
donkey ride from his cave near the Pakistani/Afghan
border to "Camp Death-to-America" in southern Pakistan
last Wednesday to help boost morale among the
homicidal looneys there.
Greeted by cheers and victory
signs upon his arrival at Camp Death-to-America, Bin
Laden told the potential-killers-of-infidels that "all
of the maniacal hate-filled, religious fanatic killers
in the world are behind you" and also that "we did not senselessly kill 3,000 innocent civilians two years ago and persist in frightening civilized people everywhere only to retreat before a powerful, righteous army now."
After his speech, Bin Laden took obvious delight in personally torturing two of the terrorists-in-training at the camp for no particular reason. Attaching electrodes to the testicles of one young man named Mohammed, Bin Laden smiled to the cameras, saying "this is just to keep everyone on their toes, okay?" After the torture session, a teary Bin Laden served toasted goat ribs, lamb's hooves and dried apricot pilaf to the crazy campers, telling them "there's no one else I'd rather spend Eid-ul-Fitr with
than you guys. I love you, you zany guys, okay?"
