“We’ve been wanting to increase sales to the very important Mormon market,” said Rohrabach. “Mormon families are huge, upwardly mobile and their church requires them to keep a year’s supply of food on hand at all times. On paper, we should be doing gangbusters business. Unfortunately, their religious beliefs also prohibit the consumption of beverages with caffeine. Well, that kind of cuts down on the sale of cappuccinos. But “Mormon Blend®” is an ingenious mixture of macadamia nuts, soy beans, gristle and hummus carefully roasted and put through Starbucks’ patented quadruple filtration system. The end result is something that is very over-priced and looks like coffee but has none of the tastes, odors and other physical effects associated with actual coffee.”