Houston - In a move that is hoped to provide high visibility at a bargain price, the Church of Scientology has purchased naming rights to the Houston Astros home field, formerly known as Enron field. The COS will call it Elron field, which is both the name of their "highest level of being" and a play on the name of their founder, Sci-Fi author L. Ron Hubbard. Hubbard, who died in 1986, created the Church of Scientology in the 1950's after a drunken bet that he could create a religion.

"We purchased the rights to the field at an unbelievable price," said regional publicist and OT (Operating Thetan)-7 Jack Andrews, "And we intend to make the most of our investment by simply changing the "N" to an "L" in the Enron logo."

"We were ecstatic to find a name bidder so quickly," said Houston Astros owner Drayton McCrane, "And we look forward to bringing great baseball to the fans of Houston. It is wonderful to have the Church of Scientology name associated with our team. After our experience with Enron, we were afraid that we would choose a buyer that would come back to haunt us later."

"We are planning some great events for the new season," added OT-7 Andrews, "We are offering a free personality test to every season ticket holder, and with every Astros home run we are going to give a free e-meter (a fancy ohmmeter that gullible users believe helps them identify evil forces in their bodies) to a lucky seat holder.

With this move, Vegas bookmakers give Scientologists 3-1 odds to beat the Jews in the Oscars next year.