Heaven - In a far-ranging interview with this reporter, God, the Supreme Being, testily refuted the notion that Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft, is richer than Himself. “Me Dammit,” said God, “I can buy and sell fifty Bill Gates and not even dip into my principal. Why, I make more in one day in the stock market than that Seattle wisenheimer will ever make in his entire lifetime, which, just between you and Me, is going to end on November 14, 2017 at 9:23am.”
God then chuckled and said, “And to quote Mark Twain, reports of My death have been greatly exaggerated. Isn’t that true, Friedrich Nietzsche?” At that point a TV screen appeared showing the soul of the existentialist philosopher being flayed by hellish demons. “Serves the little German bastard right,” said God as he flipped over to reruns of “Touched By an Angel.”
God then went on to say that He prefers the King James version of the Bible, He thinks the Yankees are going to be strong on their run to the World Series, and He’s shorting Intel and Cisco big time.
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