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Republicans Secretly Support Cloning
11/6/2006 - Gary Marchbank
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The New York Times revealed today that the Republican National Committee secretly contracted with the Stowers Institute in Kansas City in an unsuccessful attempt to clone Senator Jim Talent. Realizing that Talent was behind in the polls Karl Rove’s "November surprise" was to place a clone of Senator Talent at every rural polling site in the state.

Although he would have been prevented from standing next to each voting machine, each cloned Talent would march in front of each polling site carrying a flag, a Bible and an assault rifle. The plan was foiled when all the living results produced by the scientists looked like a 7' tall Michael J. Fox whose arms swung wildly like a windmill stopping occasionally in a fixed position similar to a Nazi salute. Rove feared that voters who saw the salute might assume that the republicans were making fun of the Nazis.

Rush Limbaugh reported the plan on his radio program and claimed that cloning Ditto-heads was perfectly legal and ‘clones had a right to life, too’ as long as they voted in Republican controlled precincts.

 

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