The effeminate and somewhat geeky physique of U.S. Senate democrat candidate Ned Lamont of Connecticut is about to change. Lamont supporters say he is very self-conscious of the fact that his shoulders droop like an overloaded clothesline. That is why Lamont will check himself into Connecticut's best plastic surgery facility next week for a makeover. Now that Sen. Joe Lieberman is ahead of Lamont in the pre-election polls Lamont wants to appear manlier before the November elections. Some people have likened Lamont's physical appearance to that of President Logan on the television series '24', only more despicable.

Depending on what doctors say will be a short recovery time Lamont may risk additional surgery to build up his backbone. Voters may recall that this is the same surgery that was attempted on George W. Bush and Al Gore. Unfortunately, Bush's surgery permanently impaired his speech capabilities and Gore now suffers from delusion and obesity.

What about Lieberman? A recent CNN poll asked participants what other government officials could benefit from some sort of makeover. The poll shows that if Lieberman took vocal lessons to lose his 'Elmer Fudd' voice or became an atheist he would win in a landslide. Additional poll results show 87 percent of the people feel Hillary Clinton should seriously consider the new 'face transplant' surgery, 56 percent want Sen. Bill Frist to get some "nads", and 92 percent think Richard Armitage should change his name to just plain "DICK".