Parody News
 
Web Broken Newz

'Newspapers' - One of Six New Causes of Death Casualty Categories
7/11/2006 - Shelby Trial
Print This Page

To continue to accurately account for casualties in the Global War On Terrorism (GWOT) the Pentagon has added six new categories to war zone reports. The following is a the list of the GWOT causes of death beginning August 1:

Hostile - hostile fire - IED attack
Hostile - hostile fire
Hostile - hostile fire - Newspapers
Hostile - hostile fire - U.S. Congress
Hostile - hostile fire - Kinder/Gentler Combat Tactics
Non-hostile - vehicle accident
Hostile - hostile fire - small arms fire
Hostile - hostile fire - car bomb
Hostile - hostile fire - mortar attack
Non-hostile - helicopter crash
Hostile - hostile fire - RPG attack
Hostile - helicopter crash
Hostile - hostile fire - ambush
Hostile - hostile fire - suicide car bomb
Non-hostile - weapon discharge
Hostile - hostile fire - sniper fire
Non-hostile - unspecified cause
Hostile - vehicle accident
Hostile - helicopter crash (missile attack)
Hostile - hostile fire - suicide bomber
Hostile - hostile fire - rocket attack
Non-hostile - weapon discharge (accid.)
Hostile - hostile fire - small arms fire, rpg
Hostile - hostile fire - grenade
Non-hostile - unspecified injury
Non-hostile - vehicle accident (drowning)
Non-hostile - illness
Non-hostile - drowning
Hostile - friendly fire
Non-hostile - ordnance accident
Hostile - hostile fire - explosion
Non-hostile - illness - heart attack
Hostile - hostile fire - bomb
Hostile - transport plane crash
Hostile - hostile fire - mine
Non-hostile - electrocution
Non-hostile - homicide
Hostile - hostile fire - small arms fire, IED
Non-hostile - illness - sudden collapse
Non-hostile - accidental fall
Non-hostile - airplane crash
Non-hostile - weapon malfunction
Non-hostile - suicide
Non-hostile - unspecified accident
Non-hostile - accident
Non-hostile - not reported
Non-hostile - illness - died in sleep
Non-hostile - illness - heat related
Hostile - hostile fire - small arms fire, grenades
Hostile - hostile fire - suicide boat bomb
Hostile - friendly fire - jet crash
Hostile - drowning
Hostile - hostile fire - mine (anti-tank)
Non-hostile - illness - heat related?
Non-hostile - illness - heatstroke
Non-hostile - illness - pneumonia?
Hostile - jet crash
Non-hostile - illness - heart attack?
Non-hostile - natural causes
Non-hostile - jet crash
Non-hostile - accident (?)
Non-hostile - building fire
Non-hostile - weapon discharge (suicide)
Non-hostile - vehicle accident
Non-hostile - illness - acute leukemia
Non-hostile - illness - acute pancreatitis
Non-hostile - illness - brain aneurysm
Non-hostile - illness - breathing difficulties
Non-hostile - fall from helicopter
Non-hostile - fire
Non-hostile - lost at sea
Non-hostile - maintenance accident
Non-hostile - ordnance accident?
Non-hostile - possible suicide
Non-hostile - suicide - Newspapers
Non-hostile - suicide - U.S. Congress
Non-hostile - suicide - Kinder/Gentler Combat Tactics
Non-hostile - illness - heart failure
Non-hostile - illness - seizure
Hostile - hostile fire - indirect fire
Hostile - hostile fire - car bomb?/RP grenade?
Hostile - fall from helicopter
Hostile - friendly fire - cluster bomblet
Hostile - unspecified injury
Hostile - hostile fire - truck bomb
Hostile - hostile fire - RPG attack (?)

 

Related Stories

NY Times Reports FBI Killing Random Americans for Practice; Bush Scolds The Times for Exposing Secret Program

NY Times To Publish Eight Part Series of U.S. Secrets

CIA Reveals Map Used To Find Zarqawi And His Treasure of Information

Full Archive.....
Untitled Document
 
Top Stories
Museum of Crime and Punishment Will Have Carter Presidency Wing

God Ignoring NBA Playoffs Again

China Completes 22-Mile Bridge, Nearly Complete With Statement Explaining Bridge's Eventual Collapse

Global Timeshares

NY Philharmonic Realizes It Played "Crush The Yankee Imperialist Then Eat Their Tasty Dogs" To North Korean Hosts

Idaho's Four Gay Residents Voice Support For Sen. Larry Craig

Leona Helmsley's Dog Indicted for Betting on Football

Barry Bonds Home Run Record Gives Regrets to Steroids

Tammy Faye Now 3.5 Pound Purse

President Bush Plans to Spend All His New Money Probing Gasoline Prices

 
  Untitled Document
Advertisers

DVDX Copy Platinum Dvdxcopy Download Back Ground Check, NetDetective, GeneologyGamesxcopy Low Interest, Reward, Secured & Student Credit Cardsdisaster alert system upcoming dvd releases

© Copyright 2008 All rights reserved. Broken Newz, The Internet's Premiere Satire News