Oakland Raiders wide receiver Randy Moss, who suffered
rib and groin injuries during Sunday's game against
the San Diego Chargers, demanded "large quantities of
medicinal marijuana and a couple bags of chips" from
his team doctor, sources said yesterday.
"Make that about five bags of chips," Moss said. "The
good weed really gets my snack groove on."
Moss previously stated he smokes marijuana
"occasionally," a revelation that drew the ire of NFL management.
An anonymous NFL official said Moss "smokes the ganja
about as frequently as he smokes defensive backs...we
have a real problem on our hands here."
"If this medicinal stuff is weaker than the original,
my doctor better give me a huge amount," Moss said.
"I've found two suitcases full usually does the
trick."
"Mr. Moss is trying to manipulate the NFL drug policy
with his evil designs," said NFL commissioner Paul
Tagliabue.
"Dude don't know what he's talking about," Moss said
in response. "I mean, I leave the Minnesota Vikings
and they end up turning a cruise ship into
Caligula's summer home. Go figure, man."
