President Bush will announce a controversial plan
tonight to "evacuate the entire country to Great
Falls, Montana," according to White House
insiders.
The plan is designed to "help the American people
avoid any more hurricanes" for the next two months.
"It might be in our best interest to chill out in
Montana for a while," the president will
reportedly say.
Many environmentalists regard Montana as the "safest
place in the U.S., other than that bunker Cheney's
always hanging out in."
The U.S. has recently endured the disastrous one-two
punch of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. Bush aides
figure deporting all 300+ million Americans
to Montana will "reduce the likelihood" of another hurricane-related disaster.
"You want strong leadership, you got it," Bush told
reporters at a news conference earlier today. "All
roads lead to Great Falls!"
Asked about the potential logistical nightmare of
moving millions of people to the U.S. Northwest "at
the drop of a hat," Mr. Bush simply smiled and said,
"We'll leave that up to marketable fiscals...er,
supermarket financials...I mean, market forces. Yeah,
that's the one!"
