The "Arab street," that much-ballyhooed factor in
Middle Eastern affairs, was downgraded to an alleyway
yesterday by the U.S. State Department.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice confirmed the move
in a brief press conference. "Yes, we have indeed
tweaked the metaphor," said Rice. "We feel it's
necessary to accurately reflect the changing political situation…even if it never really existed in the first place."
The Arab street used to be known as the tumultuous,
highly sensitive faction of the Middle East's
population that "could rise up at any moment" in the
face of perceived injustices.
After the American invasion of Iraq, which help usher
new democratic movements in Lebanon, Egypt, Saudi
Arabia, and even the Palestinian Territories, the Arab
street failed to explode and was "immediately
downgraded to an alleyway."
"If we keep getting a muted or even positive reaction
from most Arabs in the Middle East," an anonymous U.S.
State Department official said, "we may even take it
down a notch lower to a dirt road, not unlike those
dusty paths the Duke boys used to patrol in Hazard
County, Georgia."
Another official assured Americans that "whatever the
metaphor happens to be, the Arab street or alleyway or
whatever will always be broad enough to accommodate
a couple of Abrams tanks."
