Bush is doing it for no other reason "than to annoy the hell out of the pointy-headed, hang-wringing intellectual wing" of the Democratic party.

"Nothing strikes fear into the very heart of these people like a mullet," Bush adviser Andrew Card said. "Now give the mulleted man extraordinary powers – like, say, control of the United States Army – and it should be fun watching their heads explode!"

The mullet will be a 1.5-to-8 job, which in mullet parlance means for every 1.5 inches of hair in the front, there will be 8 inches of hair down the back.

In keeping with the proper ratios, an anonymous Bush hairdresser said that the president "may opt for 3 in the front and 16 in the back."

"If Tommy Jefferson had a mullet, that's good enough for me," Bush told reporters Sunday. Thomas Jefferson, the third president, is widely believed to be the first major figure in history to have sported a mullet, although archaeologists, during a 1924 excavation in southern Russia, discovered a portrait thought to be of Genghis Khan. In the crudely drawn sketch, the man has an unmistakable mullet.

Other mulleted presidents include Andrew Jackson, James Buchanan, John Tyler, and Benjamin Harrison.

Bush said he "didn't know nothin' 'bout them fellas" except maybe Jackson.