Boston, MA - Former Democratic presidential candidate Michael Dukakis announced today that he is joining John Kerry's campaign as an advisor to further the effort to oust current Republican President George W. Bush from the White House. To kick off his newly forged collaboration with his former Lieutenant Governor, Dukakis posed for photographers with the thumbs up sign while piloting a swift boat around the Boston Harbor.
"Dear God, not again," said one Kerry aide who wished to remain anonymous. "Didn't Mikey learn his lesson with that General Dynamics M1A1 Abrams photo-op back in 1988? Sure, you're tough on defense...we'll take your word for it."
"Tanks for the memories, Mikey, but just please get away from those cameras!" implored another Kerry campaign worker. "Just stay clear of the electorate, for that matter."
Oblivious to the brewing controversy, Dukakis showed off his swift boat to the press core with a glint of hubris in his eye. When questioned, Dukakis reluctantly revealed that his swift boat replica was actually the refurbished 'Monkey Business' -- sans Donna Rice -- purchased from Gary Hart.
Dukakis then proceeded to make several passes in his swift boat while standing on the helm, pointing his fingers at spectators, and making repeated 'ratta-tat-tat' noises. In the final climatic pass, Dukakis saluted the crowd before being thrown from the boat upon hitting rough water from a passing sightseeing ferry swerving radically to avoid discharged fecal matter from a Dave Matthews Band tour bus driving on a bridge overhead.
Kerry jumped in the harbor and rescued his fallen comrade despite heavy verbal crossfire from his campaign staff urging him not to do so.
