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| Amid Growing Security Concerns, Target Changes Name to “Uhh … Who, Me?” |
| 8/30/2004
- Jake Loscutoff |
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Target Stores announced today that it was changing its corporate name to “Uhh … Who, Me?” as part of an overall plan to adopt a lower public profile in an increasingly dangerous world. In a press conference at its Minneapolis headquarters, Target spokesperson Amanda Crosse-Hare said that the decision came after the executive leadership reviewed architectural renderings of a planned 100-story office tower, with the company’s familiar red-and-white logo plastered on all four sides rising 10 stories tall at the top.
“The executives took one look at the drawing,” said
Ms. Crosse-Hare, “and said, ‘What, are we crazy?’”
Ms. Crosse-Hare said that “Uhh … Who, Me?” plans to
adopt a new logo “similar to Nationwide Insurance’s
blank space surrounded by a blue frame, only without
the frame.” Ms. Crosse-Hare also said that the
company intends to close all of its current retail
stores and reopen them in “undisclosed locations.”
And instead of the hip, in-your-face TV ads that had
come to typify the Target image, “we’ve decided to go
with subliminal messages on local cable-access
channels and maybe depend on some word-of-mouth,
though we really wish people wouldn’t talk about us
too much.”
Wall Street’s reaction to the company’s move toward
total self-effacement was disappointing, largely
because, said Standard & Poor’s credit analyst Edwin
Heidegger, “K-Mart got there first.”
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