The life story of little-known Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich hit book stores today, less than two weeks after Bill Clinton’s mega-seller “My Life.”
The book is 9 pages, a mere 948 less than Clinton’s
memoir. “We just couldn’t
come up with any substantial material,” said one
anonymous editor. “We ran out
of solid material after five pages, so we kind of
freelanced the remaining four.”
Given the book’s size, it will “go straight to
pamphlet form,” a move that disheartened
the former mayor of Cleveland.
“Jeez…I thought it would at least go paperback,”
Kucinich said. “I know my life
has been fairly uninteresting, but this is ridiculous.
Maybe I should have about 6
affairs to get the book up to at least 100 pages.”
Publishers originally sought to publish Kucinich’s
life on “a couple of Post-It notes,” but
abandoned the idea to avoid “totally humiliating Mr.
Kucinich.”
“We triple-spaced, used abnormally large fonts,
included some pictures...and still couldn’t
get to 10 pages,” said another editor. “And this guy
had a chance to be the Democratic
nominee for president?!?”
One incredulous publisher said that “any average
eight-year old” could put together a
more enthralling life than Kucinich could – and hold
more sensible economic policies to boot.
In related news, conservatives across the nation
wondered aloud “how the hell that ‘f’
got into the title of Clinton’s book.”
