China completed what it hailed as the "world's longest
sea-bridge" Thursday, offering a much-needed route
into Shanghai. It will provide convenience and
traffic relief until it collapses.
The Chinese government also said the statement to
explain how the bridge collapsed, expected to be
released "within 5 years," is nearly complete as well.
"Whenever the things decides to fail, and hundreds if
not thousands of Chinese citizens needlessly perish,
we'll be ready to explain how the hell it happened,"
said a Chinese “construction official."
The bridge cost 11.8 billion yuan ($1.7 billion US),
54 months, untold man-hours, and nearly 100,000
"construction workers" to finish the project. Of the
100,000 workers, "only 23,871 lost their lives
building it."
The 23,871 workers represents a 17% reduction in
fatalities over the last large Chinese construction
undertaking, a 2006 effort described as a "massive
building somewhere in Beijing that's now a mound of
unrecognizable mortar, glass, and dead bodies," a
Chinese official said.
The Hangzhou Bridge was opened to traffic on a trial
basis at 11.58 pm, the Xinhua news agency said.
However, officials did not know how long the trial
would last. Speculation lingered the trial may last
"until the precise moment when the bridge gives way,
sending thousands of citizens plummeting toward a
mass, watery grave."
Until the bridge buckles and crashes into the sea, the
Chinese navy will patrol the area with "speedboats
with life preservers," just in case the bridge fails
before the predicted 5-year period.
Yet many Chinese people expressed reservations about
the bridge and even the life preservers. "They're
made in China, after all," said Zhou Xhainzg, 24.
"Probably won't do much if they're forced into action.
Might as well throw us a couple of cement blocks."
Chow Cheizxai, 43, offered similar sentiment. "I'll
just grab onto some rebar or iron railing on my way
down to the bottom of the sea," unless the sharks eat
me alive before that. What can I say? I'm really
looking forward to this bridge!"