During a recent meeting of international terrorists in Afghanistan, the city of Toronto virtually shut down, as most of its taxi drivers, copy store owners and convenience store clerks disappeared for seven days in early September. The meeting, referred to as a "terrorist convention" in the media, consisted of 5,000 terrorists from all over the world meeting with Osama Bin Laden in Afghanistan to discuss overall strategy, specific attacks and general evil.

The effects of the convention were felt most keenly in Canada, which has been accused of laxness in its immigration policy, and specifically in the city of Toronto, where, after 9-11, many arrests of suspected terrorists were made.

Duncan McGordon, a graphic artist in Toronto, told CNN's Paula Zahn that "I was supposed to put together a portfolio for a client, eh? But let me tell you, there wasn't a copy store open, eh? They all had signs that said 'gone on holiday for a few days.' It was really a pain, eh? I had to go drink a couple of Molson's to get over it, eh? I think I completely lost that client, don't ya know?"

Sheilagh McTavish, now a new mother in Toronto, was trying to hail a cab -- to no avail -- after her water broke as she was walking down the street. "I had to give birth to young Gord in an alley, because there were just no cabs anywhere, eh? I heard all the drivers had gone on holiday in Mazar-e-Sharif. Anyway, I had to give birth to baby Gord in an alley, but he's well, thanks' fer askin.' Fortunately, we have free healthcare up here, so even if you give birth in a dumpster, the government pays." And Bob and Margaret McBrown, a couple in the Toronto suburb of Scarborough, were having a junkfood attack and were not able to find one convenience store open.

"It was pretty bad -- all we wanted were some Doritos and a tub of sour cream, but ya know, Mohammed, that nice young dark fella who runs our corner store, he was 'away on vacation in Kandahar,' according to the note on the door of his store. So we didn't know what to do. We'll sure be happy when he gets back from his trip. All of Toronto will be, we can sure guarantee."